#009 – Are you in debt and you want to get out? However, your spouse doesn’t seem interested in joining the effort?
It’s not always easy convincing someone else to join a journey with you, but it can be done!
On this show, Mayra gives you 3 steps that will help you convince your spouse to take on this challenge with you.
Transcription
[0:00] Are you arguing with your spouse about money? Maybe you want to get out of debt, start building wealth, and they are not interested in being a part of that. I have been there. On today’s show, I’m going to tell you three things you can do to win your spouse over.
[0:15] Welcome to Debt Free Latina, the podcast where you can finally realize your dream of being debt free and feeling peace about your financial future. And now your host, Mayra Alejandra Garcia.
[0:34] Hola, hola. Thank you so much for being here. I remember it being really hard to get my husband Manny on board when we started this whole debt free thing. And it was really hard for him to understand the importance and what it meant for me. It took so long to convince him that we needed a change, that we needed to learn how to manage money, and we needed to do it together. And although we’re not huge spenders, and we have a joint account, and all the money comes out of the same account, we needed some common goals. And I knew that, and it was really hard. It took a lot of work, but I’m going to walk you through three things you can do to get at least to the point where you can talk about money. You might not be able to convince your spouse right away, you might not, but I want to give you some tools, because if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re gonna keep getting what you’re getting. So something has to change.
[1:41] And the first thing I want you to do is I want you to learn as much as you can about money management by yourself, while you wait for them to come around. Listen to this podcast regularly, read our blog posts, to learn about how to put a budget together, how to manage money in general. Consider taking the Cash Flow Method course, reading some books, or join our online Facebook group Debt Free Latina, for more accountability and support.
[2:15] And second, make the plan. Write out a budget, either on paper, use a spreadsheet, or an app, whatever it is that you want. The plan and to make different scenarios. For example, I want you to show what would happen if you had some extra income come in. Maybe you work some OT. Maybe you start a little side gig where you offer dog walking services or house sitting services, or anything like that, that you can quickly post on Facebook groups, and ask your community or offer your community these services. And I want you to show what would happen if you were to, for example, make some changes and reduce some of your spending. Maybe you stop eating out, and you cut some of the subscription services like Netflix and Amazon Prime, anything that might trigger you to spend more, like Ipsy and all these other memberships that women have. And once you have your plan, I want you to try and plan a meeting to talk about your future with your spouse.
[3:30] So this is number three. It might be difficult, but it’s not impossible. And I want you to make sure that kids are in bed, that the electronics are off, the TV’s off, and that you show some empathy, ask questions, and I want you to listen. What would you like? What do you want your future to look like? What are your dreams and aspirations? Is there something they’re willing to trade? For example, are they willing to trade their time, and earn more money? Or are they willing to cut some spending and have their time? These are really simple choices. They’re not sacrifices, they’re choices. You can choose what you want to do. You can’t have it all. And so, if your spouse is still unwilling to commit, ask them if there’s anything that could change their mind in the future. What do they see as a deal breaker for committing? Then brainstorm around those obstacles, so that you have some things to say to counter some of those thoughts, to counter some of those beings that they might bring up, because if you continue to show that you’re trying, they might come around, they might see that this is important to you. What would you like your hobby to be? Maybe you want me to find a common ground, maybe some activity or items or something they want, that could lead to compromise, right? You can have this or you can have this amount of money, a week or a month. As long as we put this much towards debt, I’m okay with that. You will have to come to common ground. You might not have the same priorities, or the same ideas as your spouse. My husband has a hobby car. He loves his hobby car, and it’s expensive, and there’s a lot of things that I, at first, didn’t agree with, but I also have this business. I’ve had to purchase things for my business that have been very expensive. And he didn’t see the importance in it. He didn’t really agree with some of it. But we came to a common ground. Okay, you can have this amount of money for your hobby car, and I can have this amount of money for my business. And our agreement, just to be transparent, is that whatever money I take for the business, he uses for his car. So if I need $500 for the business, he will take $500 for his car. So maybe you need to find some sort of common ground, and you might not agree with it, and that’s okay.
[6:27] Third thing I want you to do is I want you to provide positive feedback. In order for your spouse to make good money choices, they need to know that you’re watching. They sometimes need that positive reinforcement that is going to allow them or convince them that this is important to you. It’s important not to push too hard, or start arguments about money, because that is going to completely have them checkout. Try, instead of harping on them, try to make an effort and prove a point by showing them how much happier the family could be if debt was paid off. Show them the highlights of things that you need, like a retirement plan, like being able to pay off your house. Imagine if you didn’t have any more debt. You need to make an effort to have this conversation with your spouse. This is important. You can do this.
[7:25] Thanks for listening to Debt Free Latina. Make sure you hit that subscribe button so you can take Mayra with you on your journey to become debt free as you build financial wealth. Looking for more? Follow Mayra on Instagram @debtfree.latina, on Facebook @debtfreelatina, and online at debtfreelatina.com.